Christmas Traditions I like to Mock (part one):
- "It's a Wonderful Life" No, it's not. If you put this lame-o movie in a cage match with "A Christmas Carol" (the B&W Alistair Sim version, natch) it would get its Yankee ass whupped. I am seldom more proud to have British roots than when I don't have to endure this crap with my family every year.
- Christmas Songs. This is the only time I fully support Christian over Secular. "O Come Emmanual"? Benjamin Brittain's "Ceremony of Carols"? "Lo How a Rose"? Pure, silvery magic, especially when sung by little treble boys whose voices have not yet broken. "I'll Be Home For Christmas"? "The Christmas Song" & my mom's personal anthem of anathema "The Little Drummer Boy"? Dreck.
- Feeling obliged to buy presents for everyone in your extended circle when you can't afford it. This blows. Don't give in to the insanity! Buy prezzies for the ones you love. Give everyone else a Christmas card. Seriously.
- Getting guilted into doing things you really don't want to do/can't afford to do/don't care about. Also blows. No wonder so many people stress out over Christmas! If you have elderly, lonely parents or other family who really need you over the holidays then by all means spend time with 'em, even if you hate them. On the other hand... If you are baking 10,0000000 cookies your waistline doesn't need, hosting parties for people because you feel you should, not because you actually like them, and worrying what the neighbours will think if you don't clamber all over your icy roof stapling reindeer to the shingles then you are officially sad. And by the way, there are enough people doing their one-day-a year at the soup kitchen over the holidays. Be charitable to someone in need in February and I'll buy it.