Turning over new leaves.

The new year settles in, and so much is the same, and some things are different.

We're trying, we really are. We've tightened our belts so this is week 2 of doing a weekly shop for groceries and not eating out. Last week we spent- well, I'm not going to tell you, 'cause it's embarrassing. But we lived on that food for a week and didn't cheat, no eating out except for my forays to Shoppers for Liquorice Allsorts. This week we almost cut that grocery bill in half. The secret? Make a weekly meal plan, take the ingredients from that plan and make it into a shopping list. Most importantly, take a calculator to the supermarket with you!!! We're eating smaller, healthier meals, losing some weight and saving money. We're making to-do lists every week and trying to follow through. I'm playing my clarinet every day. J's doing his video work. The bathroom floor got thoroughly scrubbed for the first time in, um, a long time. We're slowly learning that a little planning ahead can pay off in a big way. Right now our schedules are pretty free, so we'll see how we do when things get busier...

I am frustrated and red-faced that I'm 34 and just learning this stuff. I wish my parents had showed me this way earlier, like maybe when I was in the womb. Or that I'd clued in when I was in my twenties. Even more embarrassed to realize, just now, that I did know some of this stuff but was too lazy to change. But I figure I can either wallow in that frustration or say well, I was late to the game. But not too late to learn a few new tricks.

No new photographs for ages. It's hard to get excited about pictures when your world is grey, rain, melting snow, dirt, more rain. Our winter wonderland has turned back into Vancouver's usual winter wet. I need, need, to get out and exercise, but have so little inclination to do so in this damp that clings like a monkey. We stay as warm as we can, curl up under blankets, nestle.

I learn again and again how love keeps changing. With the new year comes, for me, a new strength of love and resolve to keep working so that this person will keep loving me back. If it takes a few to-do lists to make life run more smoothly; well, they're worth it.