Tuesday, January 1, 2013


It was one of those moments that became bigger than it actually was, alive with resonance.
I got taken to a New Year's Eve party last night, like many other people all over the world. And like many people, it was a party I didn't particularly want to go to: I didn't know too many of the other guests, I was tired, and angry with my date, and to top it off I knew there would be language barriers, as most of the other guests were French or South American. In fact, I very ungraciously snarled "If I hate this party, I'm going to leave," to my poor date when he phoned me. But there was no viable alternative: no one I knew had invited me to a party, so I couldn't counter with a better offer. I resentfully showered and made myself look as pretty as I could, given my bad mood and the extra pounds the holidays had left behind.
It was slow going at first. I was unable to shake off the resentments that I was feeling, and although the other guests were gracious, there were language issues and I felt a bit isolated, and unwilling to make the effort to integrate myself into the party. But slowly, things began to change- no, I began to change- and it was all because of the music.
You see, if you put a bunch of Latinos in a room with some good speakers and a huge iTunes playlist, there will be dancing. And so we danced: sexy 20-something women, an older lady in her seventies, our assorted husbands/boyfriends... and eventually, me.
I love to dance. I'm not all that good at it, especially when it involves dancing with someone rather than just hurling myself around a room by myself, but I am very committed. And at this party, that was what counted. And quite quickly, all the anger and negativity and nasty thoughts and insecurities I'd brought with me simply left my mind as I moved my body in time to the music and bonded with the other partygoers despite our age and cultural differences. I couldn't even remember why I'd had those ugly feelings in the first place. It was a beautiful moment of shedding all the bad things with the dying of the old year, and feeling nothing but happy as 2013 was born.
I know there will be plenty of storms this year. My blissful month of rest and laziness is almost over and I have mixed feelings about going back to the whirlwind of school, followed by another superbusy summer up north (probably my last one as it's time to move on). My relationship will probably continue to provide both moments of beauty and moments of supreme frustration as we try to juggle all the demands on our time as well as the challenges of our different ages and cultures. I know I still have to work on subduing some of the sneaky little demons that hold me back in life.
But if I can just hold on to that wonderful, weightless moment when all the bad stuff just rolled off my back, if I can remember that the worst day can be scrubbed away with some exercise or exertion,  if I can make time for the friends and family who hold me up, if I can look past all the ego of ME to the bigger picture, then this year will be truly wondrous.
Happy 2013 to you all.
I want to be as fabulous as THIS girl. Oh wait, that's me!

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