Sunday, September 30, 2007

A rainy-day miscellany

Perfume. The only one I like to smell on my body is Chanel No.5. I know, champagne tastes... I liberated a bottle of the eau de toilette from my mother's bathroom years ago (sorry, Mom) and just recently I've begun using it again. Its sophisticated, elusive scent makes me feel more grown up. I wonder how much of loving it comes from the fact that I smelled it on my mom as a child and loved it then...
Soprano. When I was a kid I always sang alto in the choir because I could learn the harmony parts. When they finally let me be a soprano I was so happy- at last, the high notes! In high school, Toni and I would sing along to whatever was on the radio as we drove along in her car. Her foot as often as not propped on the dash as she drove. Singing the melody line was not cool- you had to find an alternate part, always. From such silly games comes a remarkably good ear for harmonies that has stood me in very good stead.
Games. I've never used a vibrator, can you believe it? J & I keep meaning to buy one, but then we forget. I've also never had a three-way, made out with a girl, or had someone snarl "you know you want it, Baby" while dripping candle wax on my nipples. But I'm only 33, so this could all change. I have held on to the same great guy for 10 years though, and it wasn't just due to my sparkling wit, let me tell ya.
My parents never beat me, so what can I write songs about? I had a disgustingly happy childhood in North Vancouver & Etobicoke. I love my mom, (who is truly my best friend other than J), my dad, and my younger brother. I am also very fond of my stepmom and my future sister-in-law. All the crazy people in my family (and there are a few) are overseas, in England. We are ridiculously healthy, except for my stepmom, but she is determined to beat her cancer and we are trying so hard to believe she can. The men in my life before J weren't good matches for me, but they were all pretty nice. This has made me confident, optimistic and friendly, but left me with very little fodder for angst-y songs.
Greasepaint & Footlights. We had tickets to Young People's Theatre in Toronto when I was a kid. I was always so jealous of the actors- I wanted to be up there onstage too. I was (in)famous in my neighbourhood for staging a full-length lip-synch version of "Cats" with all my little friends, which our parents had to watch all the way through. I know exactly why I love playing music, but my love for theatre is harder to analyze, so I don't. I just know that being part of a production makes me feel wonderful.
Don't take me to Playland. I have a terrible intolerance to being whirled, dropped, flipped, swooped or spun. Amusement park rides are strictly off-limits. Doesn't matter if it's the Polar Express, the Rainbow, or just the Swings- I will feel nauseous for at least an hour after I ride and yes, I will barf on you.
Time's up. Here are the ways I think I might die: in a car crash, trapped inside a chunk of twisted metal as the flames lick closer. I don't drive, so I am a nervy passenger because I don't feel in control. Or... I kiss J goodnight and go sleep on the couch because I have a cold and I'm snoring. Suddenly I awake to a thunderous roar. Is it a freight train? No, the whole apartment's shakingshakingshaking, the whole world's rocking and as I run to find my love, the whole bedroom breaks free from the building and slithers down the Cut onto the train tracks in a flat heap, squashing me under tons of debris. Hey, I live in a major earthquake zone- it could happen at any time.
Just say no. It was easier for me to quit smoking and weed than to give up sugar. I've been smoke-free for over a year, haven't done weed for months. But I'm going to get up from this computer and bake some chocolate chip cookies right now.

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