But of course that's the thing. You do have to leave. My brother and his wife's place is a sanctuary for me precisely because it isn't my place. In fact, with its right-downtown location, bland anonymous hallways, highrise view and small square footage, I often feel as if I'm staying in a hotel when I'm there. A hotel where tumbleweeds of pet hair whisk by, but still...
I was so relaxed that I didn't even remotely freak out at the fact that I was going to meet my sweetheart's little girl this afternoon. And because I was so relaxed, of course she was too. She's five. We had a lovely time together. I always forget how much I enjoy the company of children because I don't spend much time with them as a rule, but they can be so great. Especially once they hit 4 or 5 and are becoming little people rather than tiny tyrants with limited vocabulary skills and stability issues. (I'm NOT a huge fan of toddlers or babies, in case you hadn't guessed, although there are exceptions. I like people I can talk to and reason with, but I have always pretty much loved my friends' kids even when they were very tiny. Proof that I have good taste in friends, surely.) And so a momentous occasion happened with little fanfare or fuss, which is exactly as it should be.
Contrary to the title of this post, we did actually have the Superbowl on tv for a minute or two. For the halftime show, which I thought was an utter waste of time. Ignoramus that I am, I had assumed that a halftime show would be at least 30 minutes. Maybe an hour. Nope. And although I think Beyonce has a great voice her tunes leave me untouched. So mostly we watched Horton Hears A Who instead. (Hey, there was a 5 year-old around.She was a good excuse and I utterly loathe football anyway.)
And so a blissful day was had by all, except maybe the cat, who was slightly alarmed at there being a small child in the place.
A couple more weeks to go and I'll be having a 1-week break, which seems mighty soon after Christmas Break but I'm not complaining. They call it Reading Week, but it's basically our Spring Break. And I'll be chaffing at the bit for some kind of small adventure, and hopefully exercising a bit too. After all, there's a corset in my near future... I got on the exercise bike that's in our living room the other day and it felt really good to work up a sweat.
By the way, I don't think I've mentioned (and if I have it bears repeating) that I love school this term! It's funny how you can have such a 180-degree shift in attitude, and I think a lot of it is just that I've come through whatever depressed/overwhelmed state I was in and am feeling way more positive about everything in general these days. The giant chip on my shoulder about how nobody liked me and how out-of-place I felt just kind of...vanished, and I am getting along fine with all sorts of people in my classes.
I AM feeling pretty guilty about not working right now, though, especially since last term I managed to hold down a pretty demanding sound design job for the first month and a half of term. Plus I just miss being challenged, even though I always complain like hell when I feel overwhelmed and anxious about work. What happened was that my brother and I both have some money coming to us, courtesy of my granddad, who died last October, so I decided I didn't need to rush out and look for a joe-job this term. I know, maybe that's a lazy attitude, but my reasoning was:
- I really wanted to enjoy this term without getting spread too thin trying to work as well
- Weekends are pretty much the only time I can spend quality time with my sweetheart
- My joe-job qualifications are in retail rather than restaurant work. It's harder (although not impossible) to find evening shifts in retail work than it is if you're a waitress/cook.
- It would be hard to find a restaurant that would take me on, since I'm nearly 40 and still have NO experience in the food industry
- Murphy's Law states that no sooner would I land a joe-job than I would get offered a great music/theatre gig and have to juggle waaay too much stuff at once. Plus, I have to leave town in May, which makes me even less of a catch for any store that might be hiring.
But of course I was counting on the money coming in early January (which I had been told would be the case). One month later, I'm still waiting. Ouch. It may be that Fate is telling me to grow some gumption and start creating opportunities for myself. Maybe I shouldn't be so eager to learn life lessons from my lazy feline and canine companions after all...