Last night I watched my show open, and it was a great show. People listened, and laughed, and the music all worked, and the cast were brilliant.
And at the reception I was thanked, and appreciated, and complimented, which felt amazing. People I'd hardly spoken to during rehearsals because I was too shy, too wrapped up in myself, came up and told me what a great job I'd done. I sat in a little room drinking gin and talking to people I really like and respect and felt totally accepted.
And it struck me, afterwards, how much time and effort I waste, waste, on being fearful. And scared. And shy. And self-doubting. And although I'd had such a good time during this process, it would have been so much better if I'd left those feelings behind me much, much earlier.
I'm not going to wallow in regrets about that now; I'm going to try and hold on to all those wonderful things I felt coming my way last night so that next time, next job, I can step into my role with pride and strength and know, right from the start, that it's going to be an interesting, challenging, fascinating journey. And that I am just the right person for the job.