Today I learned what a wuss I am about hospitals.
Today we woke up at 6:20am because J's mom's open heart surgery got bumped up to 9am. She didn't even know she was getting surgery until 2 days ago. She went into the hospital for exploratory surgery, and-surprise!- when she comes out of the OR today she will have had a triple or quadruple bypass instead. These guys don't mess around.
This morning we sat with her for 2 hours until they loaded her onto a gurney and moved her into pre-op. Where I got to meet the surgeon who'll hopefully make her life a lot better. (He was younger than J, clutching his morning Tim Horton's coffee as he said hello.)
Everyone was friendly, sympathetic and competent. I have every faith that they will do stellar work on her. But watching her get wheeled away, looking so much like her son, my heart (luckily so strong and healthy) skipped a beat. I know I've said this before, but I've been so lucky, and my family has been so healthy, that hospitals are almost an unknown world (which is weird, because my brother works in one. But you just don't drop into the Adult Psych ward for a casual visit.)
Here's hoping we won't get to know hospitals any better in the next little while. And that my mom-in-law gets out of this one ASAP.

Spring Cleaning 2

I guess I had a post called Spring Cleaning last year, because as soon as I started typing that into the Title bar, the words popped up! Not an uncommon title this time of year...

Here I sit, smelling not unpleasantly of Heat Rub (as if someone had spilled Wintergreen toothpaste all over my legs) and basking in a glow of accomplishment. It has been a couple of weeks of rest, self-examination and growth since I got back from touring: hammering out new terms and new goals, both alone and with J. Sometimes examining your life under a microscope is not easy, but usually the end results are worth it. I can honestly say that I am happier right now than I have been in a long time.

And... best yet, I did my first Vancouver Sun Run today, and finished one hour, two minutes and seventeen seconds after I (finally) passed the start line! Having my brother running at about the same speed really kept my competitive fires burning. I surprised both him, and myself!

Must go and shower before rehearsal.

The Tour: better late than never...

Things about touring:

You will feel like this at first. Especially if your first venue is the Chilliwack Humdinger RV Show. You may wonder what you've gotten yourself into. Three 30-minute shows a day for people who, well, buy RVs.

2) You will eat a lot of food and most of it will be bad for you. This is a side effect of being in a van with 4 energetic man-boys who are over 10 years younger than you and metabolize way faster than you ever did. Skittles, 7-11 Taquitos, chips, Mike 'n Ikes', burgers as big as your head...


3) Your view a lot of the time will be this:

Five people in a large white van; each staking out their own nest within. You will buy fuzzy slippers and a blankey for the long drives. A power adaptor that plugs into the cigarette lighter so that you can use your laptop whenever. You will bring and buy movies but never use them because you don't want to miss any of the jokes and conversation floating around you. Why touring with boys is good: silly in-jokes, lots of laughs, adaptability, Meat Loaf on the iPod, random goofiness. Why touring with boys is bad: sweaty foot smell, nonstop junk food, messiness, FARTING!!!

4) You get to curl your hair EVERY DAY!!! And wear a fake hairpiece!!! Green eyeshadow!!! FEATHERS!!! You haven't felt this girly since grad.

5) The world narrows to a sharp, small focus: Hotel, Van, Theatre/Community Arts Centre/Legion/wherever you're performing that night, trailer (to unload and load all the gear and costumes), backstage, Van, Hotel.


6) You are reminded anew what an amazing place you live in. Even in the dead of winter there is beauty. And history. You'll see mountains, moose, snow, rivers,


7) And best of all, there are new friends to be had, good shows performed and hundreds of kilometres travelled.

Big thanks to Richard & Amy of Theatre Royal in Barkerville, BC for being great bosses/fellow cast-members. And to Aaron, Elliott, Thomas and Marcello for being awesome van-buddies, cast-members and new friends. My earlier post was totally wrong: I spent almost no time alone on this tour and I had tons of fun!

Scattering the Ashes

this is how it ends
we chose this weekend: family and friends
long flat sands, tidal pools, the rain stopping just in time.
real life makes our ritual short and our hearts lighter: our dogs chase and bark, your grandchildren splash and play nearby
we remember you with tears and smiles, with messages scribbled on balloons to let fly into the grey skies, with tulips and daffodils scattered with your ashes
all that's left
let time do its work
let the tide do its work
and carry you to the sea

we scattered my stepmom's ashes today at the beach she loved: her family from the east and her step-family in Vancouver, friends from several towns, dogs and children.
what she would have loved: that we are all together this weekend; that I went with her grand-children to the Aquarium yesterday; that 8 of us sat in a Yaletown restaurant last night and ate, drank and laughed hugely (and racked up the most epic bill I've ever seen); that tomorrow we'll have Easter brunch and drink a toast to her.
Rest in Peace, June.

Tour Lag

I'm back. And all my body wants to do is sleeeep. Feels like jet lag, although no time zones were crossed. I'd love to share more with y'all, but Telus has let us down (again) and our internet is dead, dead, dead. So I'm hammering this out at an internet cafe, and hoping that soon, the internets will be back up at our place. Had a great time, though. The best. Surprisingly. I'll tell you all about it soon...

Boys Are Smelly.

We have left RV Land and are officially On The Road. I ride in a large white van with 4 boys (I can call them boys because they are all younger than me), We all get along well, but the van smells of sweaty socks and, occasionally, farts. Some of the sock smell can be attributed to me, though.

Today is our first day off and we are spending it in Kamloops, so I'm having flashbacks to the Train Show I worked on up here last spring. I have had a little orgy of shopping: a new suitcase, a fleecy blanky for our long van rides, fuzzy slippers (ditto) and glorious books! Kamloops has a wonderful used book store I'd like to give props to as it gives me great pleasure every time I come here: At Second Glance Books, you rock. I got 2 novels, and a memoir of 2 stewardesses in the swingin' sixties called Coffee, Tea or Me- how could I resist? I also jogged today and walked miles, so sitting and blogging for a while feels lovely. My favorite Japanese restaurant in the world is closed today (sigh) but I will make do with another one and so avoid McDonald's , which I went to in despair last night because nothing else was open.

Touring is limbo. You don't have to make the bed, cook dinner (or breakfast or lunch), or do anything other than your one job (performing) and travelling. I know that I have other work to do, but it is so easy and seductive to be lulled into indulging myself and for now, I'm going to go with it.

On Tour. Again.

Touring gets harder when you're older. That is, unless you've graduated to the private jet, or the incredible tour bus that sleeps 15. I haven't.
I get to sing my heart out at the Chilliwack Humdinger R.V. Show. Come and watch me die a little three times a day!!!
Well, at least if things get really bad, it's Sunday tomorrow, so I can go pray here:
Yes folks, that trailer really does say Transport For Christ on it.

I'm feeling a little bloated right now, so I'm drinking over 2 litres of water a day to flush out my system and stay healthy. It seems to have worked, because a cold that I got on Tuesday has already almost gone. However the abundance of truck-stop, gas station, food court and Tim Horton's food is definitely not so good for the waistline. Yesterday I went to Safeway and bought every non-perishable healthy food item I could think of (no fridge, you see): healthy powdered soups, those rye crackers that taste like cardboard, an avocado, smoked oysters, tahini, oatmeal...
Today I sat on our stage at the RV show food court and watched everyone in sight devour burgers while I spread avocado bits and tahini on a cracker and ate the lunch of the virtuous.
We have one more day at the RV show, then it's off through the mountains and on the road for real. I get along well with everyone in the cast, but I can still see that I'll be spending quite a bit of time alone for the next few weeks. Actually, it's kind of restful. And at least our current hotel has a pool, hot tub and sauna. Might as well enjoy that while it lasts...